What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
