hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
