I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
