Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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