I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
