heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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