I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
