If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
