I wish my penis had an off switch
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
