She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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