Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
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