cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
