Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
