oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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