farters have to be the big spoon...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
