u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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