Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
