he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Never underestimate the power of titties
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
