I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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