physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
