i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Bring me that man meat
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
