I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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