I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
