gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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