Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
