This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
