so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
