then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just want nice things and good sex
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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