All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We need to get me chipped asap
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Panties = found
Randomize
