I cannot find my penis.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i now understand why vodka
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
