At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
