Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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