ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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