Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm going to jail i love you
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
