we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
