Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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