When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
