Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
