matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
