I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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