I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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