I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
