I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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