All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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