NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
