used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
