What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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