where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
