is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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