it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
