yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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