you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
